Okay, so maybe I'm a bit paranoid. But the world (aka society) just scares me more and more everyday. Maybe I just need to stop watching the news altogether and bask in the blissful ignorance whilst the world disintegrates around me.
I've been spending a lot of time snuggling my baby. It's expected, since I nurse around the clock, AND he demands to be held even when not eating. Tonight the house was dark, quiet, and I listened to the rain while I rocked my sweet baby. He is so small. So sweet. He has the most precious little features. When he is curled up sleeping in my arms, I feel so much pure love at that moment. Then I turned on the news, and watched several different stations as I channel surfed. And those sinking feelings return of "someday this sweet baby will be all grown up. How do I protect him?" I know I can't make my children live in a Mormon bubble of purity and righteousness. The violence, vulgarity, sex, drugs, worldliness, crime, and the all-encompassing rage of the Devil deceiving mankind IS THERE. It is so discouraging sometimes. Everyday I feel those who share my same values are becoming more and more of the minority. The opposition is so LOUD, so prideful, and so hateful. I do not question my moral standards/beliefs, but I feel more and more that the world hates me for them. And drives those who share these common beliefs into the closet for fear of persecution. I believe that marriage should be between man and woman only. Does that make me a bigot? I believe that dressing modestly to respect your body is an uncompromising standard. Does that make me a prude? I believe that you should not live together (or have sex) before marriage. Does that make me old fashioned? I believe that individuals and country are best governed by the standards set forth by God in the scriptures. Does that make me a zealot or religion Nazi? I also see that a true and good work-ethic is becoming a lost art, as more and more young adults graduate from school with a sense of entitlement, thinking they deserve a six-digit income, but don't know how to REALLY work for it. And one more thing, I DO NOT believe that the opinions of Hollywood celebrities and TV personalities are of ANY importance whatsoever when we are talking about "prop 8" or politics. I think they abuse their position to push their sick liberal agendas. I see on the same newscast the other night, that our President hosted a dinner at the White house where a popular outspoken Lesbian comedian was given the stand, and made crude and rude jokes about conservatives. While in California, their State pageant winner is being mocked, ridiculed and publicly hated because when asked in the Miss. America pageant what her opinion was about Gay Marriage, she gave it. Because it was in opposition to Homosexual Marriage, what ensued was no less than major character assassination. So, let me get this straight... the crude lesbian is being hosted and applauded at the White House by the President, while the Conservative Christian pageant runner up is suffering a media storm of cruelty and hatred because she believes in conventional marriage? WHAT? Where did the moral compass of this country go?
Forgive me if I seem to be rambling. But I've just been feeling the weight of these thoughts on me lately.
And as I look at the sweet innocent face of my baby in my arms, I wonder how different it will be in 15 years. How much worse will it be? Will I be able to keep my children close to the gospel? To have MORALS? To guide them in the path of the Savior, and help them not be enticed by the ways of a sinful world. It is so easy now to teach them about Heavenly Father, and Jesus. And to teach them to tell the truth, and use clean kind language, to love your family, to choose the right. They LISTEN to me now because they are 0, 3, and 6. Will they still think I'm worth listening to when they are 13, 16, and 19? I'm scared to see what my babies have to grow up in. Maybe it is my own self-doubt creeping in. But I often wonder if I'm up to the challenge of raising these precious children in this harrowing time of secularism and deception. How can I instill in them the correct principles, when the whole world around them will SCREAM that they are wrong, that they are bigots, that they are closed minded, that they are delusional?
I just feel as a Mom, I am up against so much, and it scares me.
Sorry about the rant. Usually my posts are cute stories or pictures of the kids. But sometimes I just have to get things off my chest.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
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5 comments:
AMEN! I often wonder and feel those same things...
I keep trying to remember that no matter what, as long as we hold tight to the gospel it will not desert us... the unfortunate part of that is that we can't do that for our kids... we can't make them hold tight as well. A very scary thought.
I'm so with there with ya sister!
Uh-oh, this happens to be my own personal soap-box, Sarah, that you just hit on, so forgive me for chiming in! I am SO WITH YOU! I try not to let fear overtake me, but I find that I have to shut myself off from so much of the world. We teach the gospel and so far so good, of course. My oldest is 6!
I think one of the most important things is be wary of the media. We had our TV turned off for over 4 years. (Never been much of a TV addict). After mounting frustration that we had no access to tornado watches, we finally turned it back on when Elina was a toddler. Having been completely sheltered from it for a so long I was SHOCKED at the content when I caught as little as 30 seconds - 3 minutes of any given show. Off limits for kids, of course, (even my parents get that). But even if my kids are in bed when they air, my goal is to have the Holy Ghost WITH ME so I can raise these kids, to know the Savior, not to descend and wallow in the dirt, pride and sickness of the world. Celebrate what we want to see more of, right, not the other way around?? I find myself skipping the channel; with my heart somewhere in my throat, or simply turning the TV off with disgust. I do not know about all of them (there are SO MANY), but a brief off-the-top of my head list of out-of-the-question shows based on previews and 'accidental' snippets:
Desperate Housewives (DUH! plus it airs on Sunday??)
Dancing with the Stars
The Office
House
Scrubs
CSI
Lost
Ugly Betty (though the basic concept could be cute)
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
30 Rock
Law and Order
America's Next Top Model
Sex and the City (again, DUH!)
List extreme? Just imagine turning any one of them on when a General Authority is visiting your house. I don't know about the others, we don't have the TV on very much, still. But I don't hold out much hope for them, either. If this is what feeds America (and much of Europe for that matter) then we do indeed have reason to stand in Holy Places and pray over our families. I am SO thankful for the church and for wards and friends in those wards to help strengthen us against the tidal wave of disintegrating values.
I agree Victoria. On one note, I wanted to mention that a family favorite TV show is Extreme Makeover Home Edition. My Leah's favorite part is when the excavator smashes the old house. She just squeals with delight.
This show is great because it shows the story of a family who is struggling, or has been through a very painful experience. And the community bands together and provides a gigantic act of service to give this family a new house. And they get to see how overwhelmed with gratitude this family is upon receiving that blessing of a home. It is showing the GOODNESS of mankind, and CARING for one another, and SERVING one another.
The ONLY THING (and there is always 'one thing' that any show could do without) is that while the family is touring their new home, we usually have to mute the TV because they are most often saying "Oh My (deity)" over and over again. Even the children. SOOOO...no...we don't want our kids to pick up on that as a proper phrase to use.
That is just one good show that we enjoy and look forward to together. That and "The Biggest Loser". Although that may have it's setbacks because Isaac keeps telling Mikey and I that we should go on that show. Hmmm.
Yes! Yes, I know just what you mean, though I've never watched that particular show (don't know if we even have that channel?). But we've had to have that discussion many times based on what kids and some teachers (!) say in school, too. (It's not okay to say that, but they probably don't understand, etc). Elina being my most policing child has of course corrected people. Biggest Loser seems like a great show, very inspiring. I just hate the commercials. I don't want me or my kids to be marketed. Muting (which we always do during commercials) just is not enough. My own biggest loser season begins in June and my only competitor/partner will be Mark, who will only have to lose 20 lbs compared to my 45 post partum pounds... Oh, the injustice. If I've done it 3 times, I shall manage a fourth, right? A different subject altogether. HA!
Amen! Remember - you are NOT alone!
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